Hate~

I look tough
Act tough
And seem tough from a distance...
I admit,
I am tough...
But i never hate anyone if I can help it.
  I always think that hating someone is a waste of time. At first, I can simply hate anyone. Be a beggar lying on the streets, a teacher, or my own friend. But, someone told me that, hating somone needs a lot more energy compared to loving a person. I start to hate people less then. That person, is my aunt^^
  Whenever I hate someone new, I banish all the other haters I was hating at that time. Why increase high blood pressure by hating someone? My current hated person is "The Egg", but no one else. I hate no one, not even those berlagak sombong, or high and mighty or sourpuss-princess-spoiled type. Because hating someone, means you are no better than that person but to waste your time hating her.
  My remedy for hating people is mostly like this:

Think ways of making that person suffer.

or

Totally ignore her/his existence

  or

Make everyone hate her/him

However, I prefer loving people. I really like it when people love me. It amkes me feel wanted, like I am born to be part of this world. I know, it sounds really corny... Too bad that is how I feel~ Which is why I love school and try to have as many friends as possible. Because I crave love and affection from people. That is the only thing I ask from people. To give me some attention and to love me genunely, as a friend, or sister, or daughter.

To all the people that hate me (especially teachers) I am really sorry. I guess I shouldn't win your affection like how I try to win my friends' affection. However, I am really only needing love and attention. Please don't think too badly of me kay? everyone? '3'

** Hope you forgive me guys^^ and I hope this post is useful to you...**

Random...

" Heyyy!!1 look at that gorgeous guy!! he can carry 50kg weights, and a woman on top!!!!! AAAAHHH!!!! He's so damn HUNKY!!! and strong!!!!!" *faints*...
No one notice the thin, frail looking man cleaning the floor covered in sweat...
He has been doing it for umpteen years....
Yet, without the frail cleaner... 
The strong man will one day fall in his own sweat...
Then, what is the use of the strong man?
Shouldn't the cleaner hold a more important place in the society? 
"Mommy, i wanna be a garbageman when i'm all grown up!!"
"Are you crazy dear? Garbagemen are people that don't have n education. They're useless!"
With those words, the dreams of a little boy got shattered.
Yet..
If there is no such thing as a garbageman,
We have to live in a world full of garbage.
We say the garbageman do not know anything,
But do we knw how to get rid of rubbish?
All we know is that, when we throw rubbish, the rubbish will dissapear the next day...
It did not cross our minds that the garbagemen (MPSP) play an important role in the world.
"Honey, this chicken and cabbage casserole is delicious!! The cook must be very skilled!"
Not, "This farmer must be a very hardworking man to have grown and produce such succulent cabbages and chicken!"
We all think of the person that did something. But not the source. 
A statue made of pure gold can be remarkably gorgeous.
We praise the designer.
Yet, we did not think of the people that made the statue, the people tht work hard at their own risk to find gold everyday, and God...
God is the one that made all these things available for Man...

Willpower

  Running away from home is a common subject on the mouths of teenagers these days. I gotta admit, I talk about running from home freely with my friends at school. But seriously, I have never really thought about running away. Number one, I am the type of person that believes in god and karma. I never did things that is remarkably harmful or bad. Running away needs money, my savings are little, and I am not ready to steal. Number two, I have a strong sense of willpower that can help me overcome sadness and makes me think positively. Last but not least, I have my friends and family's feelings to consider. Even if I run away from my parents and hate them out of their wits, I still have to think of my friends and maybe even teachers. Someone I know ran away, her friends are currently fretting and worrying, some even crying about her. Naturally, her family is remarkably sad.
  Running away from trouble will just make the problem seem more difficult to handle. Have you ever thought? You can't go into running forever... the police is bound to find you. When you come home, what will you do? Say sorry? Plead for forgiveness and comfort? Ask for the help from friends? Not too late, but doing it earlier will cause more heartbreak.
  I'm glad God gave me a sense of willpower. For those who don't, go find help. God is like playing a game with us, don't you see? Not a bad game, just a game to test us, the strongest one survives, the weak ones loses. Gods play this game fair. The things that can help us pass the tests are around us. If we find it, we win, too weak and scared to strive... LOSE!!! duh...

  Anyhow, the person that ran away is causing her freinds to be sad and irritated. I hope she can come back and they'll give her a talk on...     

My thoughts...

  Things are not always as it seems... Sometimes, you are sure that that thing might happen to you, but it doesn't. You end up wondering why...
  For instance, I have always thought that I'm the bravest girl in class. I still am... But one day, someone will be born in this world and come to this school that might be better than me. My mum and dad always told me, "one mountain is bigger than the other". We sould never underestimate others, even if they are disabled.
  I hate people that treat the disabled as though they are different from us. They are not, actually. Some disabled are even better than us because they try. Try to do the things that they think they can't do. I can't swim. But that doesn't mean a person with no hands or legs can't... I wouldprobably learn faster, but I don't want to. Yet, the disabled wants to and risk drowning. That's what I salute about them, their ability to survive, never give up, and the patience to TRY. I treat the girls that are mentally disabled in my school likeI would treat my friends, except I don't actually communicate cause we're not really close. I hate it when I see a bunch of kids in my school bullying one of them. I also don't like it and reprimanded ny OWN friends for being scared of the mentally disabled kids in my school. I think it's unfair for them. They don't WANT to be like that.
  I think that fear is different for everyone. What seems like normal to us might be scary to others. For instance, I don't really mind cheeking the teachers or giving snide remarks in class as I know the teachers' boundaries and will not overdo it. But my friend, a potential prefect does not dare. She's afraid the teacher will scold her. When facing our worst nightmares, we may not be afraid of other people's nightmare, but our OWN nightmare may cause a lifetime dilemma.
  The love towards someone means you can do anything for that person. Your mind always jump to that person, no matter what you do. And you would always wanna see that person happy. When one of our love ones pass on, we should continue living. You may think that the deceased person will feel aggravated to see you happy when he/she is dead. But if that person truly loves you, he/she would be more contented to see you happy.
  I am the type of person that loves everyone and expect to be loved back. Unfortunately, sometimes my wish does not come true. How are you gonna call a teacher that is your favourite to love you?!*for example* You want to hug her in school and expects to be hugged back? CRAZY MAN!!!

My lessons of HORROR

I go to school, everyday,
With a skip in my step.
I keep my happiness all at bay,
Though I really wanna rap.
When class starts i'm like OMG!
I feel like I want to die,
Cause the teacher comes in with a grim reaper's face,
She's like, "you all are gonna be dead"(practically)

I start off the day with a whiff of BM,
Oh GAWD is that the worst!
What's the good of sitting like in horror camp,
In a hot class I'm fit to burst!
The teacher, my "kind" Pn. B,
Will say a pleasant good afternoon,
We all know what she is gonna say next,
It's, "pick up those rubbish! you baboon!" (cut the baboon part, s'  not true)

Then we put in some great English,
Which is kind of my favourite lesson,
However the teacher kicks me out of class.
And gives me a dimerit which throws me out of heaven.
My "sweet" teacher Pn. C,
Will joke according to mood,
This makes all the children suffer.
For mood swings is never good!

Add a bunch of Sejarah,
Which is intresting and really confusing.
The same name is used a million times,
How can we even think?!
Our pretty Ms. Pam is kinda alright,
Though I HATE the way she ask.
Questions and questions continually,
We don't have a chance to answer!!!

And then we have a pinch of Science,
With the wise and boring Pn.J.
Science used to be a lesson of intrest,
But now, I think it's so lame!
Microorganisms used to be fun time,
But now it is no more,
What happens when carbon dioxide collides with lime?
Oh! What a waste of time!!

Add all this and garnish with Geography,
Which is the worst of them all.
I hate having to learn the maps,
As for exams I fail the whole paper!
Luckily, i'm not the worst after all!
Still I hate it,
I wanna banish it,
And I guess, that's about all...

Place it on a plate,
And eat it with grapes,
Then see if you like the flavour...
Of a few teachers,
With the fun of a flea.
Teach the class,
Named 1 SUCI!

The
End ~hope you like it!! ^^

My soul...

  My soul feels like a bird... torn between two worlds. A bird in a cage... able to open the latch and break free... If the bird breaks free, the family and friends will be positively delighted. But the owner would be absolutely devastated. Which side should birdy go? Her brain is torn between confusion... The owner who cared and love her? Or the freedom and company of family and friends? What could she do...?

Be yourself

I hate people who acts like they are all good just so they can impress,

I hate people that curls up to teachers to get good grades,
I mutter angrily when someone dares not speak up,
And wonders crossly why people always give up!

I loathe people that says things behind your back,
Hey! If you hate me... say it to myface,
I don't like people who write things in fb like:
I hate v......, o...... and things like that.

I don't like cowards who act all sweet,
Then stabs you behind your back like a F...... creep,
People who sucks up to you are nothing but leech,
Humans who acts superior is nothing but SHIT!!!

The things I say I sometimes do,
Especially in a new crowd, I am hopelessly doomed!!!
But still I try, not to be a coward,
And be myself, because I like my style..

I AM special, i'm not boasting,
Casue that's what everyone's born out to be!
A champion, a star, a king, a queen,
Anything that you can think...
But remember, the most important thing
Is to always be YOURSELF!!!

Love is everything around you...

Love is the skies of blue in your gaze,
The smell of heather in a maze,
The sight of a cat licking her kittens,
A warm loving mother making mittens.

Friendship is the love which holds in friends,
The hearty laugh of something which is not funny,
The laugh that comes when seeing a friend so happy,
The smile that lingers in the eyes when you achieve,
The tears that well up when you fail...

Parental love is the touch of a first born,
The nourishing and care given with a willing heart,
Smiling at the sound of something happy,
Sharing when the comimg of something sad.

School love is the love between teacher and student,
The patient teaching when the class is a riot,
A beautiful story behind the student's eyes,
The suprising happiness that pours from every class,
The pleasant feeling when the teacher smiles at a student.

And last with have the most powerful love of all,
The love that appears like music in your soul,
Like the beauty of a lily that brghtens up a pond,
The happiness that you feel when you give and share.

Love is infinate... And shall last till the end of eternity...
Pened by, Vanessa Tan Yun Xin

Past, present, future

~the past is a history, the future a mystery and the present, a gift. Which is why we call it present...

 Let's say, you just lost your loved one last year(touch wood). People is milling around, comforting you. Asking you not to dwell in the past and concentrate on the future. If I'm the one comforting you, I wouldn't say that. I would call you to remember the past. Just don't think of it as something negative. Think it as something positive.

  Seriously, ask yourself if you really want to forget the past. Wouldn't you feel better going sad and down? That's what people mostly feel when something sad has happened. But they force themselves to forget about it. Do you know? If you try forgetting something in your brain when your heart and soul wants you to remeber it, you might kill yourself. Point is, you should dwell on the past, but take it as lesson to you to continue living for the better. You should appreciate the present. Just like you will appreciate someone who gives you a gift. And try not to pressure on the future. As my motto goes,

"Go together with life, don't rush yourself to get faster than life"
  Life shold be appreciated. God create many obstacles on our way. Just to test how we get through it. Sometimes, we should treat life a bit like a dare. Daringness to face circumstances, daringness to come out of it and continue with life...

Happiness

  You are strolling through the park. Deep in thought with your latest buisness problems... Hmmm... Should I place (a) with (b), or should I seperate them. Blablabla... buisness is soooooo NOT my thing. Anyway, your attention was suddenly taken away from your buisness problems as you saw a madman coming your way. He was singing loudly, with the voice of nails scratching on blackboards magnified 10 times. A lot of people was watching him. Some with a bemused expresion while some others laughed. You went on your way. Thanking your lucky stars that you are born normal and don't need to be laughed by other people.
  You walk home, thinking about your two lovely children that will greet you when you go home and ease you of your tensions. Your sweet and sexy husband, that will give you a kiss and make you forget about buisness. Your front door creaked open to prove you wrong. Your kids are trying in vain to wrek the house. And your grumpy husband grumpily asks you if you had dinner ready. Not, "hey sweetums", or "hello sexy chick!" It's, "is dinner ready?". He touched a nerve. Both of you start quarreling. As you try to calm yourself down, your mind strays to the madman you saw at the park. You think... He is so lucky...
  Why is that? Why will your mind suddenly think that. Well, ponder for a sec... He's happy, coz he is free! He has no family, but that leaves him free from household wrecks and quarrels! (That is, IF he has a house) He is jobless... OHO! Free from stupid bosses and colleagues that try to take oppotunity of you! The point is, no matter how hungry or poor the madman is, he is happy coz he is free! He sings and joy all day while you grouch over work. You die(touch wood) when you're old worrying of your children. The madman dies(touch wood, again) without worries!
  Therefore, we shouldn't be so sure of happiness. Happiness depends on how you need, and find it. Not from the money you earn or the expensive dresses you got. Happiness comes with content in your life. And the ability to open your mind and eyes to look at the world and appreciate it...

Special Edition : Happy Mother's Day Original

A mother has a 1001 things to worry about.
When you're in her tummy, she worries that she will lose you forever if she is not careful.
When she is finally in labour, she worries that there might be something wrong with you. And your future will be ruined.
When you are finally out of her tummy, safe and sound. She lies awake, wondering about her future and how her mum have to suffer so much just to give birth to her.
When you are a baby, she worries that her milk might not be nutritious enough to give you life.
When you are a toddler, she worries that he kindergarten people might be harsh to you and make you scared.
Finally, when you are a teenager, she's frightened that you might mix with the wrong sort of people, chat online with the wrong people, and ruin your whole future.
When you get out of college, set a diploma and masters decree, she has doubts if you wil find a job in this hard and complicated modern world.
When you get a job, has good finances and is seen as a God by your boss, she wonders when are you going to have a boyfriend and settle down with a good family
After you are married, she's scared if your husband will treat you badly.
When you have a child, she goes all out to protect you and your child from harm, worrying that you might get sick taking care of your child.
When she's old, and haggardly. She worries that she might die soon. But not because of her own expense, because she's scared of how you will live in your later life. And she will not be there to help you when you are in need.

When you cry her heart breaks,

When you're shouting her throat aches,

When you're sad her head breaks,

When you're happy she make cakes.

This is how great your mothers are. When you are quarreling with her(which is what I always do), you might hate her SO much. But if you sit down and ponder, "why did she ache her throat so much for?" you'll understand.
The quote 'Mother Knows Best" doesn't mean she is always right.
It means she knows that she care, and her words just means good for you...
       "Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers!!!"

Shop till you drop?

  Oh! Finally, after 2 years of working in that stupid workplace. You FINALLY got a raise... Determined not to waste your 2 years of hard work, you decided to buy a new dress for that party your friends organised for you because of your raise. You step into Nike, Prada, Forevevr 21, even a shoe shop. But to no avail. You just CAN'T find the perfect dress!! Until sudden sixth sense brought you to one of the shops. You saw the most gorgeous, black dress you had ever seen! You try it in the fitting room and it fits perfectly. Hugging your curves and making you look chic, stylish and sexy.... You are about to purchase the dress when suddenly, you notice another dress. It's a limited edition dress and there is only five of it in the WHOLE WORLD!!! You imagine how your friends will turn green with jealousy and tried it on. It doesn't suit you AT ALL. Your bum look too big, your boobs too small. In fact, it makes you look like a bag lady. So, which dress will you buy? The gorgeous black dress? Or the LIMITED EDITION dress?
  Now, I'm NOT talking about the rich people who can afford to buy BOTH the dresses, nor am I talking about the smart person who will buy the dress that suits her. I'm taliking about the idiot ( no offence ) that will buy the limited edition dress. Seriously, what wre you thinking??? Gal, you have no own stand. You waste your money buying a dress that DON'T suit you instead of buying the cheaper and better dress and leaving some money for savings and a romantic dinner for two with your soulmate. Is that called smart?
  Sure... you will have the privilege of getting praised by your family and friends. But do you think they are complimenting on you? NO! They are complimenting on the dress! And how long do you think the compliments will last? A month? A week? As far as you can know, it will not last forever! Soon... more beautiful dresses will be made and people will probably be pondering WHY had they had ever complimented on you dress at all.
  So, at the end of the day, you lose most of your money for a dress that don't even look normal on you, don't have a romantic dinner with your soulmate, no money to save, and a BIG regret for buying that dress. Therefore, think wisely before you make a descision or buy something. It might lead to A LOT of heartbreak.

Unappreciation

We know that chicks are hatched from eggs right? We also know that eggs come from chickens, right? That's normal... Or is it? I use to think, that the universe, planets, and everything is made from God. But currently, I have been wondering... What is this world REALLY made of?
  I mean, gods were once humans, right? So who creatd them? Who was the first creator? Who even created such thing as FIRST? These thoughts used to make me mad. So I mostly just give up. But that's beside the point.
  The point is, we have a;ways heard of parents telling their children to believe in GOD And for centuries, there is proof that there are such thing as Gods. We think that we can appreciate life jus by devoting our lives to the gods. Just by praying and believing in them. But are we showing ENOUGH to the gods that we trust and devote?
 I'm pretty young. In fact, I haven't even experienced the difficulties of the world yet. But I just want to know, why can't we take ife as it is? Normally, people are scared of death. Even me... I wonder, readers... have you ever wondered, that life is destined? I mean, life or death has been written in destiny. We cannot do anything to stop it. So why are we scared of it?
  Of course, we HAVE to take care of ourselves. Sometimes, I imagine god up there, looking down at us. Just like how we treat animals and plants in experiments. God is experimenting with us. The so-called humans. Perhaps god don't control our brain. God looks down and see what will happen to people if they are destined like so-and-so. Who knows, there might be another dimension that God created, to compare with our human world.
  And now, my ununderstandable (probably) piece of blog is finished. I just want to say, I believe in God, and in karma. I believe, a bit of love and appreciation, will change something. Who can determine what? But something...

Is Love an object? A feeling? Is it created? Is it even real?

   You've probably heard about love in fairytales, stories, myths and legends. Mostly, those stories tells us that the hero fell in love with the heroin by first sight, kissed once and married, right? But is love really that easy? If so, why do people these days end up divorcing with each other?
    Another thing I don't understand. When people divorce, does that mean they don't love each other any more? Or does that mean that the love has become nothing but a teabag that has been used dozens of times. There's still a little taste there, but you'll be better of drinking plain water. It's fresher.
   But here is one thing that I might at least understand a little. And that is, parental love will always be true. Even though the parents last time might be a little hard on thier kids by asking them to marry someone they don't love. But it's for their own good. Anyway, that's all I know...

Havoc! Disaster! Help!!!!!!!!

 Ok, seriously the whole of my school days are fine... UNTIL this presentation thing pops out of nowhere! Fine... it's a competition between 1Suci class and a few of the other form 1 classes. I'm in the first class( not boasting, ok?). But I think the other classes are beteer than us.
 Why does THAT happen? Because of stupid actresses? Unskilled dancers? Stupid background helpers? NO!! The answer is cause of us directors! As we speak, I am writing a script for this presentation. The "main" director, IE: my "brilliant" friend (not gonna say the name) are not bad except she have no sense of preperation and only know to help the actresses. It's up to me to control the other commitees IE: background commitee, dance commitee, and pianist with the sandwichman. Nobody seem to want me to be the director(maybe cause i shout too much). But the actrsses sometimes find me and ask me questions. I don't mind helping out, I just hope the presentation can come out to be, well, more of a presentation.

School, school and mostly... SCHOOL

WHOA.... school in secondary level is WAY streesful! I mean, some of the things that the teacher say needs some thought before understanding. Anyway, friendwise... it's kinda ok. Even though my enemy is a little, ok A LOT irritating. Things are going rather smoothly! I especially LOVE art lessons in school. Not the teacher though, too particular and "SOMBONG".

Avatar

 Watched Avatar movie on Wed. It's rather cool actually. But seriously, the show lasted for more than  hours! We ( ie: my family and i ) ate lnch at mc'd. nothing special really accept for the prosperity lunch thing ya know? My dad and i ordered chicken and it was HOT!!! it isn't exactly spicy, but really,really HOT!!! My mouth was smoking! and i mean really smoking!

Anyway, nthing else to say for now accept thankin my sis jovin for buying me some gorgeous sneakers :D

school's fun!

  School's comin! i'm happy and sad at the exact same time! i'm glad to go to school, but afraid my friends will forget and ignore me. i mean, they have been kinda ignoring me these days. i just hope that friendship and happiness in my family blooms in year 2010. btw, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Boring holiday...

  It's been the most boringest holiday in my whole life. i slept late but feel lazy. and i did not even go to a single holiday spot! fortunately, my parents got something to get me to heer up a teensy weensy bit. i get to go online... as usual. can't wait for school to start! at least there are some people i can talk to. and some of them which supports my opinion bout irritating siblings.

Secondary School Registration

  Went for registration at sec school today. Trust me, the school is LOADS smaller than my primary school. Still, the teachers are ok and the scholl is quite cosy... But SERIOUSLY, i don't like the look of that sec school. It doesn't give me that... WELL>>> school-ish feel ya know. And i also feel small. I just wish my friends are the same class with me next year... :-(